Choosing the Right Provider: Advocating for Yourself When You Feel Dismissed
We hear a lot about “choosing the right provider” and the importance of advocating for ourselves—especially in a healthcare system where many people feel dismissed, minimized, or even gaslit. But what does that actually mean in real life?
What if you bring up a concern and your doctor brushes it off as “normal”?
What if you ask questions and they end the visit quickly or leave the room?
Who are you advocating to—and what are you supposed to do next?
Many clients come to counseling feeling discouraged and defeated because they’ve tried to get help and don’t feel taken seriously. They may be told their pain, symptoms, or side effects are “normal.” And sometimes there is some truth in that—some discomfort can be expected depending on what’s going on. But living in constant pain, feeling chronically unwell, or being repeatedly dismissed is not something you have to accept as your baseline.
If you leave a medical appointment feeling unheard, confused, or ashamed for asking questions, you have the right to seek a second opinion. You can transfer your care. You can request a different provider. You can ask for your records. You can bring a support person. You can write your symptoms down ahead of time. Advocating for yourself doesn’t have to be confrontational—it can be as simple as choosing a provider who listens and takes your concerns seriously.
Conditions like endometriosis are often underdiagnosed and misunderstood, and many women suffer silently for years. Postpartum depression is discussed much more openly now—which is progress—but postpartum anxiety deserves the same attention. For many women, anxiety in the postpartum period can be just as disruptive, and sometimes even more common than people realize. The more we talk about postpartum anxiety, the more women will recognize it earlier and feel less alone.
Talk about it with your friends, family, and colleagues. Be the change we need in society and in our community. You might be surprised how many people want to open up—but don’t feel safe doing so until someone else starts the conversation.
If you’d like to explore these topics further, here are a few books worth considering:
The Pregnancy and Postpartum Anxiety Workbook (Pamela S. Wiegartz & Kevin L. Gyoerkoe)
Down Came the Rain: My Journey Through Postpartum Depression (Brooke Shields)
Medical Gaslighting: How to Get the Care You Deserve in a System that Makes You Fight for Your Life (Ilana Jacqueline)
Each of these highlights a common theme: women are tired of not being heard.
Counseling can be a place to process medical trauma, chronic stress, anxiety, and the emotional toll of feeling dismissed—while also building practical tools for self-advocacy and confidence in your next steps.
Let’s normalize conversations about gynecological and GI symptoms that can come with being a woman. The more we talk about it, the less stigma there is—and the more empowered women become to seek the care and support they deserve.
